Life Is No Longer A "Drag"

 

One year ago, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. 

Technically, it was an easy decision to make, but it was what seemed to be an impossible decision to stick by.

Today marks the one year anniversary from the day I quit smoking.

 

 

 

When Marilyn was alive, she never badgered me about quitting smoking.  She would always help me to not beat myself up for failing, yet again, to quit.  Once Marilyn was diagnosed with cancer, her tone changed completely.  Laying in her hospital bed, she would show me the bandages, tubing, tape, cuts, bruises - everything she was enduring because her lungs were failing.  She would yell at me "QUIT NOW-or this is what you have to look forward to".  I have to say, I was never negatively phased by Marilyn "yelling" at me.  She loved me.  She loved me so much that she didn't want me to have to go through any pain that could possibly be avoided.  And I loved her back.  I hated watching her suffer. 

 

Marilyn died shortly after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer.  After she passed, I would try to quit smoking, for her, for me, for my family, for anything, and I just couldn't do it.  I would quit for a day - a week - maybe even a month in there somewhere - but every time I would be unsuccessful.

 

It took me almost 2 years after losing her to finally decide that I was ready.  I was ashamed of being a smoker.  I was ashamed that I lost someone I loved so dearly to lung cancer, yet every day - at least once on the hour - I would light up and put myself at further risk.  I was ready.  I hated the taste, the smell of cigarettes.  I would hide when I smoked, or not smoke with certain company.  I had to quit.  So I picked October 5, 2012 as my quit date-I believe it was a Friday.  That Wednesday, my mom had another series of "mini strokes" and was told to quit smoking.  Both of us decided that was it-we wouldn't buy another pack of cigarettes.  Well, I didn't, and my quit date quickly changed to October 4, 2012.  Unfortunately, my mom is still puffing away..... I will continue to quietly-and lovingly- harass her.  Marilyn did teach me well.

 

I know this blog was created to follow my journey to Philadelphia Marathon, and this says nothing about running-but it does, doesn't it?  I can't imagine training for a marathon as a smoker.  I can't imagine even wanting to.  I am running this marathon with Marilyn in my heart-her voice telling me that she is proud of me.  I finally took her suggestion to the fullest, and today-just for today- I have been a nonsmoker for one year.

 

I cannot express how grateful I am to be a part of Team Lung Love.  To know that I am raising money for a cause so true and close to my heart.  Smoker, Non Smoker, Former Smoker - NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE FROM THIS DISEASE. 

 

Thanks to everyone who has been following along on this long journey.  I have one month of long runs left and still a little more money to raise.  Come this November - I will be two short runs away from becoming a MARATHON RUNNER!

 

Want to donate?  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  See the links below to be sent on over to my donation page.  Thanks to everyone who has already donated.

 

Lots of Love.

 

 ****Don't Forget, I am running this Marathon with Team Lung Love for Lung Cancer Alliance to raise awareness and funds for the fight against Lung Cancer.  No donation is too small.  Please consider donating to the cause by clicking here. Huge thanks again to everyone who has already donated!!!****