Hope Springs Eternal



One definition of Hope is:

 "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best"

 

 From the very beginning, Marilyn was always giving me hope.  She gave me hope that my future was going to be brighter than my past.  Brighter than any dream I could have ever dreamt.  I even have a bag and a scarf with the word "hope" on it - both gifts from Marilyn - get it?  GIVING me HOPE.  

 

If I had never had the pleasure of knowing such a remarkable woman, I definitely would not be running a marathon next month, I would have never thought I was capable of raising enough money to run on such an incredible team for that marathon, and I would have never believed I was worthy of all the other extraordinary moments that have happened and are happening in my life. 

 

Hope is the root of everything for me.  Without hope, I would be lost.  Without hope, none of this would be possible.  If I've learned anything from Marilyn, I have learned that if you have hope and you keep hope, nothing is impossible.   

 

Even after her death, she is still giving me hope.  I can hear her loud, boisterous voice telling me to hang on-to hang in there-and that no matter what-everything will turn out for the best. 

 

There are days, like this morning, when my hope is wavering.  When I feel doubt or believe that I cannot accomplish my goals.  When I just need to know that I am going in the right direction and that everything will work out.  And without fail, when I need her, she is there.  I found a rose today, all alone, surrounded by empty stems, and all I could think was-this is my hope.  It was my Marilyn telling me to hold on-just like that rose was holding on for a little while longer. 

 

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come".



 

****Don't Forget, I am running this Marathon with Team Lung Love for Lung Cancer Alliance to raise awareness and funds for the fight against Lung Cancer.  No amount is too small!  Thanks to everyone who has already donated!  Please consider donating to the cause by clicking here.****

 

 

 

 

For the Love of Running

May 2008
My Angel

 I know why I run, but sometimes I ask myself "how did I get here?" 

It is nice to have kept reminders of my journey up until this point...

  

2010 UCGKHG5k Run/Walk

 My first 5k was in October 2010 - with my very best friend and inspiration...My finish time was 37:51.  I am pretty sure you can never forget your first time (winky face).  I couldn't believe I was going to run 3 WHOLE MILES!  I didn't really know what to expect, so I showed up with makeup on and no music to run to.  That was the longest 3.1 miles of my life.  Caitlin finished (in record time, no doubt) and met me at the end to help me get to the finish.  I can only remember wanting so badly to throw up when it was all over.

 

 Marilyn passed away less than a month after my first 5k.

 

Miles for Moo Moo

 The next time I was to run a 5k, was also a run that was organized in memory of Marilyn - called Miles for Moo Moo 5k Run/Walk.  I had the pleasure of assisting the "chairperson" with putting together this emotional run.  Lots of work and effort went into honoring such a beautiful woman who we both loved so much. 

I ended up staying back and not running the 5k, but was able to be there to cheer on everyone who came out to support us.

 

Shortly after Miles for Moo Moo, I started a new job with a boss who had a passion for running that ran right along side of mine-and started our joint journey of running 5k's all over the place...

Two months after starting my new job, I ran my second 5k, with the hill of death.  There is probably a reason we have no pictures to commemorate that moment...Although that second race was pretty rough, it really kicked started my love of running.  HELLHILL was quickly followed up with my first Mudrun with Team Dirty Dames.  That first mud run was one of the best times I have had in my life.  Best group of girls to be on a team with.

2011 Mudrun-Team Dirty Dames

 Later that year, I was facing my first winter 5k. It was December 16, 2011 and called the Jingle Bell Run.  Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Frosty, etc were all present for the event.  I was dressed in red and green and had jingle bells attached to my shoes.  This was the first race I brought my youngest son to, and the first time he crossed a finish line with me.  The moment I rounded the corner and saw his little face cheering me on, was the moment that I realized I could do anything.

2011 Jingle Bell Run

 2012 proved to be a pretty busy racing year for me....now I say racing - but I mean running in races, not so much in the competitive terms.  I think I was deprived of the competition gene.  As a matter of fact, the more it feels like a competition, the less I want to do it.

 

February 2012 I ran in the Polar Bear Run for the Plunge - the day before plunging my poor body into the Atlantic Ocean for the first time - all in the name of charity, right? April 2012 was my first Run for the House Ronald McDonald charity run.  September 2012 brought on the second Mudrun with Team Dirty Divas (same teammates-just sassier).  October 2012, I ran Making Strides Against Breast Cancer for Chuck's Angels.  Although I was extremely doubtful of my ability to run more than 3.1 miles, I finished my one and only 10k on Thanksgiving morning. I wrapped up the year running the Jingle Bell Run with First Choice and friends for the second year in a row.

 

 

2012 Run for the Plunge

2012 Ronald McDonald Run for the House

2012 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer

2012 MudRun Team Dirty Divas

2012 Jingle Bell Run
 

2012 March for Babies




2012 Thanksgiving 10k

This year started with the decision to run the Broad Street 10 miler.  In preparation for this impossible distance, I signed up for March and April 5ks-which led to me running my heart out on May 5th at the BSR in Philadelphia.  I didn't break any records.  I didn't even meet my own personal goal.  But I did find out what I was made of.  I signed up for the marathon before I ever stepped foot on the 10 miler's course. 



2013 Broad Street Run

 

2013 Cherry Blossom 5k

2013 Ronald McDonald Run for the House



And here I am.  This journey of running has been a long and bumpy one so far....but most juicy love affairs are, aren't they? 

 

****Remember, I am running this Marathon with Team Lung Love for Lung Cancer Alliance to raise awareness and funds for the fight against Lung Cancer.  No donation is too small.  I am super close to my goal!  Thanks to everyone who has already donated!

Please consider donating to the cause by clicking here.****  

 

 

Life Is No Longer A "Drag"

 

One year ago, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. 

Technically, it was an easy decision to make, but it was what seemed to be an impossible decision to stick by.

Today marks the one year anniversary from the day I quit smoking.

 

 

 

When Marilyn was alive, she never badgered me about quitting smoking.  She would always help me to not beat myself up for failing, yet again, to quit.  Once Marilyn was diagnosed with cancer, her tone changed completely.  Laying in her hospital bed, she would show me the bandages, tubing, tape, cuts, bruises - everything she was enduring because her lungs were failing.  She would yell at me "QUIT NOW-or this is what you have to look forward to".  I have to say, I was never negatively phased by Marilyn "yelling" at me.  She loved me.  She loved me so much that she didn't want me to have to go through any pain that could possibly be avoided.  And I loved her back.  I hated watching her suffer. 

 

Marilyn died shortly after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer.  After she passed, I would try to quit smoking, for her, for me, for my family, for anything, and I just couldn't do it.  I would quit for a day - a week - maybe even a month in there somewhere - but every time I would be unsuccessful.

 

It took me almost 2 years after losing her to finally decide that I was ready.  I was ashamed of being a smoker.  I was ashamed that I lost someone I loved so dearly to lung cancer, yet every day - at least once on the hour - I would light up and put myself at further risk.  I was ready.  I hated the taste, the smell of cigarettes.  I would hide when I smoked, or not smoke with certain company.  I had to quit.  So I picked October 5, 2012 as my quit date-I believe it was a Friday.  That Wednesday, my mom had another series of "mini strokes" and was told to quit smoking.  Both of us decided that was it-we wouldn't buy another pack of cigarettes.  Well, I didn't, and my quit date quickly changed to October 4, 2012.  Unfortunately, my mom is still puffing away..... I will continue to quietly-and lovingly- harass her.  Marilyn did teach me well.

 

I know this blog was created to follow my journey to Philadelphia Marathon, and this says nothing about running-but it does, doesn't it?  I can't imagine training for a marathon as a smoker.  I can't imagine even wanting to.  I am running this marathon with Marilyn in my heart-her voice telling me that she is proud of me.  I finally took her suggestion to the fullest, and today-just for today- I have been a nonsmoker for one year.

 

I cannot express how grateful I am to be a part of Team Lung Love.  To know that I am raising money for a cause so true and close to my heart.  Smoker, Non Smoker, Former Smoker - NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE FROM THIS DISEASE. 

 

Thanks to everyone who has been following along on this long journey.  I have one month of long runs left and still a little more money to raise.  Come this November - I will be two short runs away from becoming a MARATHON RUNNER!

 

Want to donate?  Any amount is greatly appreciated.  See the links below to be sent on over to my donation page.  Thanks to everyone who has already donated.

 

Lots of Love.

 

 ****Don't Forget, I am running this Marathon with Team Lung Love for Lung Cancer Alliance to raise awareness and funds for the fight against Lung Cancer.  No donation is too small.  Please consider donating to the cause by clicking here. Huge thanks again to everyone who has already donated!!!****