"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another"
― Walter Elliott
***Disclaimer - I am in the process of moving and about to run a marathon - so if any of this makes sense, I will be shocked. Please forgive me, I believe I lost my mind somewhere along my 20 mile run***
Years ago, a good friend of mine told me I have commitment issues. At the time, I believed her. I was an amazing starter. I had big plans, but no follow through. I couldn't stay in a relationship. I couldn't stay in a job. Diets never lasted more than one day - maybe even only an hour. I couldn't quit smoking for more than a morning. She was right. I had major commitment issues. At the first moment I realized that whatever I was committed to might require some work, I bailed on the idea. And I stayed that way for quite some time.
Through the years, I have worked through some of my insanity. I have been in the same relationship for many years. I have held my current job for about 3 years - at least 2 years longer than most of my jobs. I have not smoked in over a year and my diet is fairly healthy, most of the time.
I have seen my greatest improvement with my lack of commitment in the relationships I carry with my friends. Never in my life would I have imagined having such deep, true friendships. I have been blessed a million times over. The ones who I still hold very close, are the ones who stayed by my side during darkness and in light. I am forever grateful to the women I call my sisters.
I am happy to say that after 24 weeks of my newfound commitment to training, I will be running the Philadelphia Marathon this Sunday. I forced myself throughout my training to never think about the end. I wouldn't allow myself to think about actually running 26.2 miles. I thought if I fast forwarded ahead that I would get psyched out and quit. So, I promised myself to quietly keep my eye on the prize - fundraising and running. It was only pure shock and amazement when I hit my fundraising goal a month ahead of schedule - AND continued to raise money to this day. When I say that I am overwhelmed with gratitude, I am simply understating the way that I really feel. No words can describe the feeling I have. I have committed to training, to running 4 days a week - sometimes more, sometimes less, raising $1,500 for Lung Cancer Alliance, putting my body and mind through tasks that seemed impossible and unimaginable - and I did it. Now, imagine how you would feel....
I know that none of what I have done has been all on me. I have been gliding on the wings of angels from the very start. When Marilyn was alive, her and I would walk multiple laps around our park. We would talk and laugh and figure out our own life's mysteries while clocking miles and miles. Never had I ever thought that we wouldn't continue to have those moments for years into the future. The day after I run the marathon, will be the three year anniversary of losing Marilyn. I know that Marilyn has been with me throughout this journey, and that we will run this marathon TOGETHER on Sunday. She has been my heart and soul throughout this path. I believe that there are certain bonds that will not end with death. I believe that Marilyn is always with me and I am blessed to see her in my dreams, to be able to visit with her, hear her voice and feel her hugs - even if it is only in my sleep and only for a moment.
Luckily, because of the support I have received and the love that I am given, I am feeling extremely calm, even peaceful. When I would allow myself to look ahead to the marathon, I always imagined I would be scared, nervous - a wreck, but I'm not. And it is just one more reminder that I have extra help. Between flying with my angels, and a support group that is second to none, I am ready.
Commitment is a funny thing. When you feel like you want to quit, when you are beaten, broken, down and out, but you continue to move forward on sheer commitment-the reward is priceless.
Race day is almost here - but I'm still taking donations! I am running this marathon with Team Lung Love for Lung Cancer Alliance to raise awareness and funds for the fight against Lung Cancer. No donation is too small. Thanks to everyone who has already donated!
I have seen my greatest improvement with my lack of commitment in the relationships I carry with my friends. Never in my life would I have imagined having such deep, true friendships. I have been blessed a million times over. The ones who I still hold very close, are the ones who stayed by my side during darkness and in light. I am forever grateful to the women I call my sisters.
I am happy to say that after 24 weeks of my newfound commitment to training, I will be running the Philadelphia Marathon this Sunday. I forced myself throughout my training to never think about the end. I wouldn't allow myself to think about actually running 26.2 miles. I thought if I fast forwarded ahead that I would get psyched out and quit. So, I promised myself to quietly keep my eye on the prize - fundraising and running. It was only pure shock and amazement when I hit my fundraising goal a month ahead of schedule - AND continued to raise money to this day. When I say that I am overwhelmed with gratitude, I am simply understating the way that I really feel. No words can describe the feeling I have. I have committed to training, to running 4 days a week - sometimes more, sometimes less, raising $1,500 for Lung Cancer Alliance, putting my body and mind through tasks that seemed impossible and unimaginable - and I did it. Now, imagine how you would feel....
I know that none of what I have done has been all on me. I have been gliding on the wings of angels from the very start. When Marilyn was alive, her and I would walk multiple laps around our park. We would talk and laugh and figure out our own life's mysteries while clocking miles and miles. Never had I ever thought that we wouldn't continue to have those moments for years into the future. The day after I run the marathon, will be the three year anniversary of losing Marilyn. I know that Marilyn has been with me throughout this journey, and that we will run this marathon TOGETHER on Sunday. She has been my heart and soul throughout this path. I believe that there are certain bonds that will not end with death. I believe that Marilyn is always with me and I am blessed to see her in my dreams, to be able to visit with her, hear her voice and feel her hugs - even if it is only in my sleep and only for a moment.
Luckily, because of the support I have received and the love that I am given, I am feeling extremely calm, even peaceful. When I would allow myself to look ahead to the marathon, I always imagined I would be scared, nervous - a wreck, but I'm not. And it is just one more reminder that I have extra help. Between flying with my angels, and a support group that is second to none, I am ready.
Commitment is a funny thing. When you feel like you want to quit, when you are beaten, broken, down and out, but you continue to move forward on sheer commitment-the reward is priceless.
Race day is almost here - but I'm still taking donations! I am running this marathon with Team Lung Love for Lung Cancer Alliance to raise awareness and funds for the fight against Lung Cancer. No donation is too small. Thanks to everyone who has already donated!
